Michigan but not Michigan
The unwanted step-child
Yeppers, I recently took one of those DNA tests that I swore I would never do. Turns out my family line, or at least me, has Neanderthal DNA of more than 88% of the people tested within this particular lab. I used to tease and say we were knuckle draggers here in the U.P., well folks, I guess it is a real thing! I suppose I’m lucky that I didn’t inherit their overhanging forehead. Good ol’ Cro Magnon man used to call the Neanderthal population “flatheads”. I would imagine because of that flat overhang. The advantage of such a forehead design would be shade for the eyes while hunting for Wooly Mammoth’s. These hairy folks didn’t need a license to hunt those big fellows, and there were no limits set yet, either. I’m sure if the Capitol building in Lansing would have been around back then there would have been a big fee to hunt those monstrous beasts.
Hubby has the newest blood type in human history, he has no Neanderthal DNA. His blood type group, I believe, were the early first farmers who settled into one area and began growing crops. So, having the farmer genes, I sent him out to do battle with the hops vines this morning. We grow them for shade on our deck and eventually they take over anything within their grasp. I wanted to use the grill for a Bar-B-Q for tonights meal which the hops vines had taken over like a scene from the castle of sleeping beauty.
He did a good job rescuing the grill but left it within reach of these *stranglers of anything standing still*. These green grabbers grow about a foot a day during in the early summer months providing great shade from the heat of the sun on our south facing deck.
Our place is on a 40 acre parcel in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, (“The Yoop”). We live among pristine forests loaded with plenty of streams, waterfalls and breathtakingly beautiful scenery, along with an abundant wildlife you don’t see in lower Michigan. It was tragic we were forced on Lower Michigan as a deal for statehood back in 1837. The Upper Peninsula of Michigan should have become its own state. The upper and lower have absolutely nothing in common. We ended up as part of Michigan due to the war for Toledo. Toledo is a port city on the southwestern tip of Lake Erie, and Michigan wanted it. Washington said they had to settle their land dispute before Michigan would be allowed its statehood. Today Toledo is the fifth busiest port on the Great Lakes.
They called this the war for Toledo, but it was more chest thumping and dick measuring than anything else. The U.P. was the neglected, stepchild nobody wanted. After Michigan became a state, some smartass discovered we had a vast array of valuable wood and minerals worth mega bucks. Michigan won that coin toss and acquired a land mass with woods and mineral resources, but Ohio won the battle and got Toledo. In a more recent development, the Queen of England purchased a gold mine up here.
Then, one day back in the late 1990’s, Lansing got too big for its britches. They tried to take away bear hunting up here in the U.P. Make it illegal to hunt those soft, cuddly, friendly creatures who will take food from your hand. Hell, no, they’ll just take your hand!
Most of those overzealous bureaucrats trying to justify why they were elected, along with pressure from PETA lobbyists, which had never even seen a real bear let alone understand what destruction a 450 pound bear can do, tried to over run the U.P. with a bear population. Hungry bears have been known to rip tailgates off trucks and doors off cars looking for a morsel of food, especially in the spring when they are really hungry.
They are not the tame, well mannered animals you see in the zoo or at parks. They will climb through open windows to raid the kitchen of an unsuspecting home owner, and scare the ever lovin’ stuffin’ out of someone going out to fill the bird feeder. Bears are also occasionally, an unwelcome guest in your pool, on a hot summer afternoon.
You can see our dilemma with shutting down bear hunting, eh? Regardless, of the Proctologists lobbying in Lansing to end the hunting of bear they didn’t win. This time, anyway. It would also have helped put an end to out of state license fees and the hotel/ restaurant and other businesses here. Hunting, fishing and tourism is how this place survives, and shipping our wood to parts unknown.
I still have family that live in the lower peninsula, Trolls from down under the bridge as they are so lovingly referred to by the natives in the U.P. and said family members don’t understand the U.P. either. If you are interested, I have provided a link to another blog I wrote for several years ago that explains how we live here. Of course, things have changed a little but you get the idea.
https://peninsulapeasant.blogspot.com/p/living.html
So there you have it, Neanderthal vs. Cro Magnon. Sad, history tells us how that story will end. Someday in the very near future, Lansing will take away our guns then cross the mighty Mac with their asphalt pavers and dump trucks and pave over the U.P. As we speak there are protests to a rocket launch pad being proposed in a wilderness area on Lake Superior. Wilderness destruction, more pavement and pollution are being ignored with the promise of jobs. We won’t win against the big dicks of progress and their shareholders. Just like the Indian culture lost out to Washington D.C. and the railroad, us Neanderthals, we will fight a good fight.
