Yooper Motto; "It Does Not Apply to Me."
Of course, until it does. . .
“Smart people learn from everything and everyone, average people learn from their experiences, stupid people already have all the answers.” -Socrates-
A “Yooper” is a native of Michigans Upper Peninsula for those unfamiliar with the term. The old timers say that you are not a real Yooper until you have peed in the woods. Those living below the bridge wonder if we have indoor plumbing. Most of us do have indoor plumbing, towns people have higher taxes and their rules and regulations are just like every where else. In the woods it’s whatever you can get away with.
Living on this great lakes environmentally affected piece of real state one needs to be a little more durable than those living below the 45th parallel, to be sure. Siberia comes to mind, maybe not quite as cold. Having said that, I was sitting in my car in Walmart parking lot in December of this year waiting for my husband.
The car was still pretty warm even though it was about 34 degrees outside. This is Michigan after all and 34 degrees is nothing out of the ordinary for here. Actually, I’d consider is quite balmy for this time of the year. I looked up from my cell phone to see a misty drizzle with ice pellets tapping at the wind shield. Slushy puddles were forming and cars were splashing cars and people as they passed.
Watching people getting splashed was more interesting than anything I had going on with my phone. So I put my phone away and watched the show in front of me. There were a couple of teenage girls parading through the puddles in their jammie bottoms and slippers. I could imagine the bitching as a car passed by. Then there was a young woman, carrying what looked like a year old child, dashed across the parking lot without jackets on herself or her baby. She was heading towards the store. A Strange looking man came out of the store and pushed a baby stroller across the lane of traffic and stopped to adjust his packages. He was pretty close to my car so I could see that it wasn’t a real baby he had in that stroller, it was one of those realistic, life-like plastic dolls. I swear he was treating it as if it were a real child. Yeah, we got ‘em up here too.
Hubby came out of the store and walked passed the strange man. When he got into the car with his cache he asked if I had seen that strange man? “Yeah.” I said. “Lets get out’a here.” Two more quick stops and we were headed the right direction, towards home.
It is a 30 minute drive from town to our house so a little chat with a captive audience and no means of escape is always fun. One of the things he brought up was our “go bag.” “Have you switched it over to winter gear, yet?” I took over stuff like that when he was sick a while back and I just kept it going as part of my responsibility.
By now the temperature had dropped and the misty rain turned to a bit of snow. The weather changes on a dime up here this time of year. Expect anything! Which brought up those people at Walmart tip toeing through puddles in house slippers and the lady and baby with no coat. I was thinking, I hope they live close by. By the time we made it home the snow have given way to a thick dense fog. Visibility was about 10 feet down the road.
Do you remember when (daughter) went to the hospital to have (grand daughter) many long years ago? I asked.
About 16 years ago now, we got a phone call from (husband of our daughter). "We are at the hospital, the pains are 15 minutes apart and she just decided that she wants you to be here, can you make it?" He breathlessly whispered into the phone.
It's Saturday, March 1st, 5:30 in the afternoon and 22 degrees outside.
"Ok, I should be there in just under two hours, tell her to hold on", I told him. Hubby had to work in the morning, it was his scheduled weekend so he couldn't go with me, which, as it turned out was a good thing. I gave him a quick peck on the cheek, jumped into my car and began racing down the country back roads to the hospital. I’m now between nowhere and less than nowhere on a narrow paved strip of road with no houses or other cars in sight for miles and snow piled on either side of the road. Now that I think about it I hadn’t seen anything or anybody for over 20 minutes. No other cars or snow plows on the road, nothing. It was about then my 1990 Ford Explorer began to do some weird stuff. It’s 86 miles from my house to the small rural community hospital in Northern Wisconsin where they are having the baby, I had driven about 50 miles by now. Not much between here and there but trees, trees and more trees. Occasionally, a darkened house/camp jumps from an opening in the forest or a family run grocery/gas station stands alone on a two lane paved road. March is off season these camps and second homes were vacant. The one lonely operating gas station I had passed had already closed for the night. The only thing I can do is keep an eye on the gauges and water temperature and just keep on moving forward.
The old girl chugged along, another 40 minutes of the torture over if I was going to make it, finally I’m at the hospital. My daughter is having a baby I say through the speaker at the emergency entrance and rush to the second floor. I get to see her for a few minutes before they came to wheel her into delivery. I get to be there when my daughter delivers a perfect baby girl. What a joyous occasion.
It's now 3:30 am, Sunday morning. All the excitement over, jet lag sets in. It’s time to find some place to get some shut eye. I give hugs and kisses and leave the hospital in hope of finding a motel close to the hospital. My options are limited however, most places in this small Northern Wisconsin town are family run and turn out the lights by 11 p.m. this time of year. There has got to be a Motel Six or something, I hoped, I truly hadn’t had time to think this trip through. By now it is 10 degrees outside, the old Explorer fires up nicely and I think I’m going to begin my search for a motel. Only I don't make it very far, maybe a quarter mile when steam begins rolling out from under the hood and the car begins to lurch. With the cold weather and hot water screaming from my engine compartment I could barely see through my frost covered wind shield. I turned the car around and slowly crept back to the hospital parking lot. My daughters house is 45 miles away in the other direction, too far for this car to go.
The parking lot of the hospital is nearly empty so I was able to park close to the building. The emergency room should let me in again so I make my way to that door. I waited for someone to buzz me in. I wait, I shiver, I wait. I walked around to another door, "Use Emergency entrance after 8:00pm" the sign says. I walk back to the emergency room door, no one is at the desk, still! What to do? I didn’t have a decent cell phone at that time, I had an old Nokia. I didn’t know anyone to call even if I wanted to at that hour. I'm exhausted, so I decide to go back to the car and take a nap until the hospital opens up and I can get my son-in-law to look at my car. I get back to the car and open up the hatch in the back of the vehicle looking for my emergency bag filled with all kinds of warm, comforting stuff. What? It's not here! How did that happen? Damn, now I remember, I took it in the house to update it and with all the excitement of my new grand baby, I never gave it a thought. Damn, damn, double damn!
I spent a couple of really cold hours in the car before someone finally showed up at the emergency room desk and I was able to get back into the hospital. Hubby (baby's Grandpa) had to get someone to take his shift in the morning so he could come get me. The car didn't get fixed until Monday when our Son-in-law was able to find a replacement thermostat. Everything did turn out alright this time but what a lesson I had. It could have turned out very differently. I never, ever leave the house without checking to see if I have a *comfort-get-me-home* bag in the car. Even in the summer. It has got to be there or we don’t go.
I shudder to think about those sweet teenage girls at Walmart in their jammies and slippers being stuck in the snowbank just driving the six or eight blocks to an all night convenience store for a bag of chips. Or that lady and baby with no coats. Maybe she was smart and had them in the car but what a disaster that could be.
Out here in the woods emergency services can take 30 minutes to arrive in good weather, double that in bad weather and shitty roads. There will be no emergency help if there were a mass crisis in town. YOYO, you are on your own.
I guess my point is never take anything for granted. Times are changing quickly here on this planet, people are less willing to help one another. They are more apt to bop you on the head and take what they want. In a blizzard situation lots of people will be stranded and emergency personnel will get to you when they get to you, if they get to you. Your best bet for YOYO is to make your own "get me home bag" and keeping it in your car. Even if you are only six blocks from home. Most people can’t even walk six blocks let alone walk it in miserable weather.
Bug out bag builder Scroll down and see what a WUSH bag is, interesting! A definite must have if you are living in a highly populated area.
Hug the guy that invented plastic bags! Start your “building a bag” by putting like items together in plastic bags. Nothing is more frustrating than having cold, wet feet only to find that your extra warm pair of socks is soaking up the water from a leaking water bottle.
Life straw- I carry this in my everyday purse, always. I have anxieties. You know, moose poop in the water. LOL
One Second After-Audio Scarier than a Steven King novel with 10X the possibility.
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